SING TO ME!

SELL TO ME!!

Laurie Gould: Don

WRITE TO ME!!!

Send me emails when there are new songs or blog posts!

FOLLOW ME!!!!

YouTube -- http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjzbTLmufvyK0DywNOTNB3w Twitter -- https://twitter.com/midlifemomsongs Facebook -- https://www.facebook.com/Midlifemomsongs

GIVE ME A MUSICAL MAMMOGRAM!!!!

Hell Outta Bat

These are the steps to follow should you find a bat flying around inside your house:

1.   Jump up and down and scream (recommended:  "A bat!  A bat!! A bat!!!)

2.   Calmly and rationally, take a moment to review what you know about bats:

a.  They are helpful animals, eating a gazillion times their weight in mosquitos and other harmful insects

b.  Most bats are not rabid:  95% of the bats caught in Massachusetts test negative for rabies

c.  Of course, that means that 5% of the bats in MA do test positive for rabies

d.  And there are no mosquitoes inside the house, so what the hell is it doing in here?

3.   Repeat Step #1.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ringtone #2! It's a ringtone AND a public service announcement!

And here it is!   You can download the ringtone here to your iPhone:

Kegel_rington.m4r

Or listen and download it as an mp3 for your Android or whatever:

http://gouldtunes.com/ringtones/

 

 

November is Ringtone Month -- Week 1!

One brand-new, totally free, downloadable ringtone for you, every week for the entire  month?   What could be better?

To hear the ringtone, or to download it as an mp3 file (good for Androids and other non-Apple phones), click here:

  http://gouldtunes.com/ringtones/

And here's a file in m4r format, for iPhone users -- click here to download:

Avoidance_ringtone.m4r

Enjoy!   And don't fret if you tire of it quickly -- there will be a new one next week!

 

 

El Dia de los Muertos Chez Nous

It is Halloween Night, just hours before Dia de los Muertos, and despite the mountains of candy I purchased this weekend, our doorstep has yet to be graced by a single trick-or-treater.   I think the word is out that truly creepy things have been happening at our house, and the kids are wisely keeping their distance.   In fact our household has experienced an unusually high mortality rate this October.   Here, then, is a tribute to  those we have recently lost:

 

 

I Am My Inbox

The NSA, we have recently learned, is collecting all sorts of data about all sorts of things, including email accounts.   Senders, address lists, subject lines -- it's all fair game.  As explained in one Washington Post article, "Taken together, the data would enable the NSA, if permitted, to draw detailed maps of a person’s life, as told by personal, professional, political and religious connections."

I don't imagine the NSA is drooling over my inbox in particular -- I'm pretty boring.  But what could the NSA learn about me from my inbox, should the notion pop into its adorably furtive little institutional head?   I took a hard, dispassionate look at my inbox to find out what they could learn, just from one representative 24-hour period:

1.  Barack Obama is my best friend.

2.  I am lonely.   Very lonely.  Apparently the mate of my dreams is senior:

A musical love note for my book group

My book group has caused me to burst into song -- proving once again that life really IS exactly like musical comedy, only with way slower reaction times.

 

A throne of one's own

We need a new toilet.  Two, in fact.  Which means that I am now confronted with the specter of toilet shopping. 

 

The best weekends start with muffins....and here are mine

We all have our gifts, and here are mine:   I write very good thank you notes.  I grow really beautiful lettuce.    And I can bake any kind of muffin.  

 

 

Jet Blues

It is late at night, I am on a plane, and someone around me is having a bad gas attack.  

 

When life hands you apples....

The other day, Steve went to the market near his office to buy a few apples.   The apples, he reported with dismay, were all from Chile or New Zealand.  Why, in New England, in September, would anyone go to the trouble of importing apples from so far away?   When our local orchards are chock-full in this record-harvest year?

As we discussed this over breakfast, we worked ourselves into quite a self-righteous lather.   We should all eat locally, whenever possible!  So much better for the planet!   And so much tastier!

And how much more local can you get than your own backyard?  In fact, we have two apple trees in our little backyard, probably planted by the Victorians who built the place (or, perhaps more likely, by the groovy group home that installed itself here in the 60's).   Mostly, these apple trees serve the function of crapping all over our garden:  they are a major source of debris, shedding diseased leaves pretty much all season long, and providing a home for much-detested squirrels, who feast on the apples and then fling their half-eaten fruit on our heads.

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